Exploring to Learn

A year and a half back, when I left school-teaching at the middle school level, I was told by my headmistress: "You have two drawbacks. You're both decent and delicate. And this combination is bound to trouble you in life." In that perspective, the last one and half years in the 'Corporate' world has been a baptism of sorts.I have become less delicate and, I dare say, less decent ! I can now see through people's fake smiles and all-too-convincing assurances. Whenever I am audience to expressions full of praise and appreciation, I know for sure...something's coming up. The kind old man or woman at the other end of the praise surely has something up his sleeve.In fact, in all interactions with people, I try and pinpoint what the other person's motive is. For as I see the world now, no action is without an ulterior motive.And I cannot afford to be naive any more. Call it growing up or the loss of innocence or perhaps, coming of age...or just pure cynicis...

Over years, over time, over months, and yes,even over just a matter of a few days, people change.People change so much so that you wouldn't believe it is the same person. At moments, they utter a statement that compels you to reminisce with wonder,why this is the same person who said just the opposite, only the other day! I hope you are not thinking I'm talking of our much celebrated politicians? Not at all. I'm talking of those over-friendly individuals who you rub shoulders with along life's path. Every Single Day. I'd only heard of fairweather friends. Now life's given me a chance to see them in flesh and blood. I've seen how position and money, or the deprivation of it, can make them do a cartwheel in the other direction. Only money's real. And once this realisation sinks in into my now toughened senses, everything seems fake. Each word as it is spoken, has little effect. Conversation flows on like the sea all around,while each is an island by himse...

It's quite amazing, when you ponder on it, to think how priorities keep changing as you grow older. When I was a student, topping the list of priorities was 'Studies'. Soon 'Career' and 'Work' climbed its way to the top. A short while later, when holy matrimony swept me off my feet, 'Family' settled on its perch at Priority No.1.That soon gave way to 'Son'and that has continued to top the list till now. I wonder whether it is similar for most other women who marry and raise families. Do family and children become the all-important factors in your life at a certain age? Everytime I've found myself facing a tough decision, my priorities bailed me out.Whether it was leaving a permanent job more than four times in my nine-yearlong teaching career or not taking up positions that weren't in line with what was most important for me,life for me has always followed the path lain down by my priorities. Now when I'm standing at the edge once...

A thousand apologies to those 'less than a handful' who've cared to sign up as followers to my shamefully stagnating blog. What do I give as an excuse for not keeping up the blogging habit...for letting the one good thing I learnt last year almost die a silent death? Scratch my head as much I can,I can't think of an answer. Laziness or A Strange Freezing of any Intention to Write? Amateur blogger's block? Whatever. Something stirred within. I shook myself awake. And here I am again, typing away as the words come popping out of my head. Hope I keep it up this time.And use it for something useful. Wish me luck.