Decency ... a Weakness....?
A year and a half back, when I left school-teaching at the middle school level, I was told by my headmistress: "You have two drawbacks. You're both decent and delicate. And this combination is bound to trouble you in life."
In that perspective, the last one and half years in the 'Corporate' world has been a baptism of sorts.I have become less delicate and, I dare say, less decent !
I can now see through people's fake smiles and all-too-convincing assurances. Whenever I am audience to expressions full of praise and appreciation, I know for sure...something's coming up. The kind old man or woman at the other end of the praise surely has something up his sleeve.In fact, in all interactions with people, I try and pinpoint what the other person's motive is. For as I see the world now, no action is without an ulterior motive.And I cannot afford to be naive any more.
Call it growing up or the loss of innocence or perhaps, coming of age...or just pure cynicism. The way the world looks to me now is completely different than what it looked like just a couple of years ago. It's sad to think I've lost that one value I held so dear ...trust in people.
I find it increasingly difficult to trust people these days. Blow after blow, experience after experience, has changed the way I look at the world.At people.It has hardened my soul.Possibly to safeguard me against more such blows in future.
And as life's harsh realities turn me into a wiser, less-trusting woman, a few nagging thoughts trouble me timeand again. Will I ever be able to interact in a frank and trusting manner with people again? Am I losing out on good human beings who could have been good friends by reading too much into people's intentions?
Have the malicious hands of life touched my soul and dried it up to the core?
Is it better to be decent and delicate (naive, in other words),and be happy...or is it better to be diplomatic and shrewd and unhappy for the rest of your life? Is being decent and delicate a weakness after all?
Does any one have any answers?
In that perspective, the last one and half years in the 'Corporate' world has been a baptism of sorts.I have become less delicate and, I dare say, less decent !
I can now see through people's fake smiles and all-too-convincing assurances. Whenever I am audience to expressions full of praise and appreciation, I know for sure...something's coming up. The kind old man or woman at the other end of the praise surely has something up his sleeve.In fact, in all interactions with people, I try and pinpoint what the other person's motive is. For as I see the world now, no action is without an ulterior motive.And I cannot afford to be naive any more.
Call it growing up or the loss of innocence or perhaps, coming of age...or just pure cynicism. The way the world looks to me now is completely different than what it looked like just a couple of years ago. It's sad to think I've lost that one value I held so dear ...trust in people.
I find it increasingly difficult to trust people these days. Blow after blow, experience after experience, has changed the way I look at the world.At people.It has hardened my soul.Possibly to safeguard me against more such blows in future.
And as life's harsh realities turn me into a wiser, less-trusting woman, a few nagging thoughts trouble me timeand again. Will I ever be able to interact in a frank and trusting manner with people again? Am I losing out on good human beings who could have been good friends by reading too much into people's intentions?
Have the malicious hands of life touched my soul and dried it up to the core?
Is it better to be decent and delicate (naive, in other words),and be happy...or is it better to be diplomatic and shrewd and unhappy for the rest of your life? Is being decent and delicate a weakness after all?
Does any one have any answers?
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